The life of Samantha

Well, I started this blog, and then my computer froze, so I'm just going to do the short(er) version. :)

First off, I apologize for my ramblings, but I guarantee you that you will learn many facts about my life that many never knew.
As most you know, I had a boyfriend named Cody (whom many of you have met), and after the breakup between him and I, I have a lot about my life. Why was that relationship such a learning experience and life turning? I'll explain. All of us (or many of us that read this) have gone through our first love, the excitement, the unknown, etc. I just wandered into it with a blind feel on life. I went into that relationship without knowing myself, and that can cause many problems. I became so infatuated with him and the idea of someone being there that I lost pretty well all of my own self identity, need for others and activities, and was declined all social contact. After we broke up, I was lost and went into a low emotional state. Counseling, anti-depressants, sleeping 16 hours/day didn't help much (well the counseling did).. But I finally pulled though with help of family, friends and newfound friends. And after I was out of that almost comatose state, I began to think about my life, the events I've been through and what I'll do in the future.
I've begun to think that that relationship was almost needed in my life, not for the good times, but the bad. Being with a man (boy, I guess) who is manipulative, a cheater, controlling, abusive (emotionally, mentally and physically), childish and needy really teaches you something. Not while you're with him, but after you're away and have time to think about your life. I know now that I won't lose my sense of self so easily, because I'm a stronger individual, I know myself better, and I know what I need and want out of life. And amazingly, I find it easier to pick out traits in people now.. There was also the problem which came from that relationship, from not being 'allowed' a social life. Hanging out with friends I thought I had, or talking to certain people was not permitted, and it was really hard to get back into the swing of things once we were through. The problems which arose in grades 7-11 were back with rumors such as me dying from AIDS, certain vernal diseases, being in observation for being crazy and sleeping with this or that person came about. All these were all from about February to the end of the school year, with the last one (AIDS) arising about 3 weeks before school ended. I was a social outcast, and still pretty much am, with only good friends out of town, mostly from when I went to school in Calgary. But with all these hardships, I've only learnt lessons, and I'm thankful for that, because if none of this had happened, I wouldn't be as smart, mature, strong or such an individual as I am today. By the way, I have no diseases, and I'm not promiscuous. lol

What else is new in my life? Well I'm happy, hah, I'm moving to Calgary in September with my Best buddy Jenna, and I've been accepted to Devry for the fall, with high marks on my acceptance/entrance exam for Electronics Engineering Technology. It will be a hard move, because Mom, Terry and I have gotten very close, especially through my rough patch of life. Plus, if I don't get accepted for financial aid, then I won't be going to college, at least for a long while, especially Devry. So I'm thinking of going in the winter season if financial aid pulls through, that way I can move and get used to the city/bus routes, and make a little more money for food and rent before going to university. I am really excited for it though, I can't believe I'm saying that I am excited to go to school. haha..

Humm.. What else? Well I went to the CYAID (Canadian Youth Against Impaired Driving) Conference on May 11th in Toronto, Ontario and had a blast (except when we were all going to go shopping, but was left behind for 5 hours because of some little... Not nice girl in the group who told my advisors that I didn't want to go) heh. But if you want some more details on that, I wrote a large blog about it that is in my email and if you wish, I could send to you :)

I also graduated, which was doubtful at times because of not wanting to be at school and missing so much because of the social, emotional and person vs. Person conflict with a girl at school. But, I pulled through, and graduated unlike that girl (I apologize for my rudeness on her behalf, but that's the only person I've ever truly disliked with a passion). As long as my English 30-1 diploma is passing (which I'm confident it is), I have graduated in 2006 from Hugh Sutherland School. :D I also had a fantastic grad date named Dale, who is my neighbor's cousin, who Mom and my neighbor Glenda tried hooking me up with, lol. Amazingly, it worked. I now have a boyfriend again, since 2 days ago (it's currently the 12th of July).

I know, I know, I'm almost 18, I don't need to be tied down, experience life, etc. But I'm just going with the flow of life right now, might have a good experience with this guy, learn a different side of life.. Although I already don't like his mother because even though she is just being protective, she doesn't like me because I apparently look like I'm 12 :S. Then again, she hasn't ever liked any of his previous girlfriends. If you'd like to know, His name is Dale, he's 23 since yesterday, a little taller than me, and actually respectable. Unlike Cody, Mom, Terry, Arianna and Danielle all like him. I think Dad and Pam might have too for at least how long the met him for. He's a non-smoker, attends a gym and will have his mechanics certification in August of this year. :P This almost sounds like a Classifieds Ad. Anyways, I'm not going to go all boy-crazy like before, and we're taking things slow. Just thought I'd let you all know a little bit about him :)

On another note about graduation, my teachers, especially Mr. Weiss (social), Mr. McKenna (Vice Principal and Computer teacher), and my councilor Janet were extremely proud of me. These three teachers and I connected very well through the years and they've had high expectations and hopes for me, which they told me about many times and the way that they talked to me throughout the years I've known them, I know how much faith they've had in me. Mr. Weiss who is an extremely respected teacher told me he know I'll go far in life and knew I could pull through, even with everything that has happened. I was very proud of myself at that moment and will cherish the advice he's given me through teaching and just talking with the man. My councilor Janet, I'll try to continue to see, possibly even driving out here to just talk with her. She knows my entire life story and every detail, for we'd just sit and talk about the weekend, she'd talk about her kids, I'd talk about my problems. We became more like best friends instead of patient/councilor relations. And Mr. McKenna, he was pretty well the one who made me graduate, for he's the one who pushed me with computers, pushed me to go back to school and made it easier for me to be at school, even with Erin being there. He's also the one that made my suspension 4 days (from fighting) and helped me with the bully/harassment reports caused by Erin after the fact, and when she wouldn't stop the ball that continued to roll from her direction, And got her to smarten up a bit. Not many kids can say they became friends with a teacher, let alone 3, but how can you not, when you know there there and care if you succeed in school and life?

Last thing, I got myself a job. It's not the fanciest thing ever, or has the best pay, but for a first job, and with a leniant boss, I don't mind cleaning rooms at the little motel in Carstairs. $8/hr, and anywhere from 2.5-5 hours of work per day.. I like it :)

Well, That's a really long blog, so I might add pictures from grad, CYAID, and just the rest of life later on in another post :)

Thank you for listening to my rambles, and I love you all and hope to see you all again soon. And I thought I should let you all know, I'm extremely happy in my life right now, and I'm glad I'm here to share it with you all.